Introspection

Deep in the place where good things reside
lies the darkest, smallest festering wound.
Derived from the best of intentions,
A shit road paved in gold.
Despair and doubt take hold
encompassing the only good left.
Eating it alive,
in return,
making me the living dead.
I was once a shell of my former self,
and slowly as the cycles of the moon change,
I began to find myself again.
Growing, learning, living, loving.
Once love had found me
it seems,
everything bad melted away, into nothing.
So I thought.
The hollowness I once felt,
that I thought was gone, has started to make itself known,
yet again.
Self sabotage and self defeating actions are choosing my paths,
without my permission.
You cannot control what you didnt create,
yet this darkness that manifests within me,
is of my own, a part of me.
I look to love to help relieve the hurt and sadness.
But it just looks right back at me blankly.
Did I not feed it enough, nurture it enough?
Will I always be doomed to fail, even when I have every chance to succeed.