What Else Can I Say or Do?

When everything I do and say is for you with no reciprocation, what else can I do?

When that extra mile is reached, the above and beyond, and it's met with a closed door, What am I supposed to do?
When I can't write about my sad or hurt feelings because it makes YOU feel bad, then how am I supposed to express myself or let you know how I feel to take the most efficient route on our path together?
When I tell you how I feel, and what hurts, once, or over & over, and nothing is done, what am I supposed to do?
When I get ignored, and no longer have a voice in our duo, how can I speak any louder or more empactful?
When you say you want nothing more than me, and I come handing you, me, on a silver platter, and you turn away and say no, what else can I do?

When I tell you I love you and I don't feel it back, some time, how am I supposed to know what your love feels like?

The things we do when we think no one cares.
The things we do for no good reason or without explanation.
The things we keep to ourselves without a second thought.
The words we cant say when its needed the most.
The words we do say when we are unaware of our actions.
The love we feel that we cant express.
The non acknowledgement we feel that seeps into the cracks, breeding feelings of insecurity, thwarting what we were confident we once knew.
The best intentions that go unnoticed and unappreciated.
The need to do what you can to help yourself, that works against you.

The unwillingness to understand that drives a wedge in between.
The love you want the most, thats so close, yet so far.
We do not try to hurt, or hurt each other, but we are human, humans fail.
The desire to talk that falls on deaf ears, makes it hard to connect.
The things we say that were hard to get out, that are left unresponded to, makes it more difficult to open up.
The Great Love that occupies us both, still there but needs to be nutured.
The yearning for the best we can have together, is still there but needs to be fed.
Talk to me, and let me feed you, nuture you, and let us continue to grow together.
Anything we can overcome, merely by staying connected and talking about what ails us.

I love and care for you more than any words can say and any thoughts could convey.

MAX

Max,

You were always there when I was sad, offering the cutest actions and a warm soft tummy to lay on.

You love to lick my tears and give me kisses, every time I ask.

You never failed to be so excited every time I came home, whether I was gone for 5 minutes or 5 hours.

You listen more than any dog Ive ever had, or known.

You, like me, are misunderstood, a misfit to the world but just reserve your love and loyalty to those you love most.

Youve always been protective and sometimes your barking was a bit much, but I understand you are letting me know you are watching out.

I miss you and youll always be top dog to me.

Cold

"I trust you with my secrets

though I say I have no dreams

I see the future locked in your eyes

and thing everything is better than it seems

To much to hope for, but everything to need

To tell you of the things i see,

means the world to me."

You used to say, things just like these,

to me, on many sleepless nights

we stood and talked about the stars

and the places they would take us.

Then there was fear

and the secrets and the dreams

which were not to be called dreams

stopped coming,

and held apart with them 

was their constant smile

and their soft kisses against my skin

as I fell asleep.

Replaced by doubts

and accusation

that grew in the dark

and in the light alike

I wondered if i could ever

do right.

And then, this night, 

I awoke to skin, so soft,

brushed against me,

and I smiled,

to see you laying next to me.

your eyes locked on mine

and we talked, for just a minute

and then drifted apart, 

into slumber.

a cocoon of blanket separating our

bodies.

My smile didn't fade, 

but the soft touch certainly did.

I turned towards you,

but you turned away.

I lifted the blanket to reach you,

but you pushed it back.

and left me out in the cold,

My skin craving yours.

The play repeated, like a record,

a bad dream

I reached, and you pulled

and we ended up

so far apart,

Sleeping in the cold,

When all I need is your warmth.

Gone

The comments;
Amazing legs,
Skin,
Hair,
You're proud,
Smile,
Constantly surprise,
I love you,
How I make you smile,
I want to be with you,
I drive you crazy,
I'm your last chance at love & happiness,
Intelligence,
Future plans....
These are things
I don't hear anymore.

Not sure if they're being held
captive in a small box in your mind,
Or perhaps, they are nothing more
than opinions you've left behind.

I am now a part of the background,
unspecial, like MOST everyone else.
I guess shiny things do tarnish.
Treasure turns to trash.

Looking over my bare shoulder
I see you sleep.
You look so pleasant, content, happy.
Even smiling and moaning.
I thought maybe you were waking up
and was happy to see me there,
naked next to you.
Then, realized all too soon,
you were dreaming,
of God knows what or who.
You sure were happy,
whatever was going on.
I remember I used to make you happy,
not so long ago..
Now it seems the dreams
you've shared with me,
have turned into just you,
having a dream.
You awoke for a minute or two
away from your dream,
Captive from the happiness it gave you,
only to find, just me, there.

Once upon a time,
there was a man.
Who couldnt wait until
the next time he could
cuddle or sleep next to the woman he loves.
Here & Now, that man loves me not
.....and only wants to sleep
alone, to dream.

The Autumn of Our Souls

While we were waiting for the Winter, wondering,
Our minds wandered to old cold and bitter things,
Darkened by the unforgotten signs left behind
By long since dethroned kings and queens.

And while we whisper through the wonder of the Fall
Wowed by the fit and fill, strength of kiss and thrill
Seasons past sweep us through the crashing of it all...
The consecrated crowns harshly smashed at will.

The end of Summer brought together a cool breeze
Through sticky weather, we met and were surprised
That such a palace could be as which we surmised
Not forgetting the old brought lies, fear, and disguise

Spring was a sick and spindly thing, remiss of warmth
pushed to a new land, expelled from kingdom old
Not yet met, we reflected near family hearth
gazing at a future we assumed, holds only cold

But once, if only if, we stay and wait for winter.
We will realize scars are harsh, dark and deep.
But we have promises to keep, miles to fulfill
And we will wait for winter's will.

Together still.

One & Only

The girl that wears glasses.
The girl that lightly snorts & giggles.
The girl that is crafty & resourceful.
The girl that can help you with something.
The girl that is humorous, & makes you giggle.
The girl that is confident, yet shy.
The girl that likes to get hands on dirty.
The girl that likes to fix things.
The girl that loves to cook.
The girl that nerds out.
The girl that loves to sing & dance, when No ones looking.
The girl that is slightly ticklish.
The girl thats adorable and accepting.
The girl that has your Heart.
The girl that decides to keep it all inside.